04 November, 2013

 

Tongue? Yeuch! I'm not eating that - it's been in something's mouth!

... he whined piteously, the while sprinkling more salt onto his hard-boiled egg.

The Telegraph reports

Muslim prisoners sue over contaminated halal pies

adding in the standfirst,
Nearly 200 Muslim prisoners are suing the Government after being served halal food contaminated with pork, claiming their human rights were breached.
"Contaminated?"  Bit harsh I feel.  Let's just say "inadvertently enhanced", shall we?

Nonetheless the Sons of Allah are not best pleased and want retribution or, failing that, compo.  Don't worry lads, Allah is merciful.  You were misled and ate the flesh of the pig unknowingly.  Allah will not punish you.  As an undevout kaffir I know this to be true because  ... well because I looked it up on the Internet, innit?

Lighten up, bruvs.  As an infidel, I am frequently offered halal food without its nature being identified to me.  After all, infidels will eat any old shit, won't they?

Well, not really. Not as such, squire. Personally I prefer not to eat meat slaughtered according to halal practice. Not just because of the supposed cruelty of the method, which is indeed specious and unnecessary, but as much because it is culturally alien and untrustworthy.

I appreciate that I am just an English scumbag who doesn't really exist, but I do have my own culture and traditional standards too, tha knows.

Yes, I am aware that there is much to criticize in the actual implementation of our secular meat slaughtering industry; we are very far from routinely granting the sudden, unexpected death free of fear and stress which we owe to the animals we rear to kill and eat.  But I'm sorry: some bearded wog mumbling a ritual prayer, nominally in the hearing of the still-conscious, terrified animal, and then slitting its throat.  I wonder what that does to the adrenalin levels and the taste and quality of the meat, apart from any other consideration.  And I wonder what other incidental devilry the bearded wog is capable of with his seventh-century worldview and his contemptuous disdain for Western food hygiene standards.

No thanks. I'd sooner have my meat slaughtered and cut by the unwilling and indifferent Wayne from Slatterthwaite who will at the very least follow the rules — our rules — even if only to avoid being given the push.

I wonder what dietary options imprisoned alien criminals in Muslim countries are offered.

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